I believe that life is one of the ultimate goals – to “be happy” or “to become happy.”
In order to feel more satisfied and find our way to a happy life, we follow our dreams and goals. But what is our main purpose in life? This is a question we ask ourselves over and over again.
The answer is in:
- What I Have
- What I Do
- Who I Am
1. What I Have
We all have to make a living, we all have basic life needs that must be met in order to achieve other goals. Starting with food and shelter, we need money to meet our basic needs. Sometimes our self-esteem depends on our financial status.
Then the purpose in life becomes wealth, beautiful things, a luxurious life. When life’s goals depend on what we have, our happiness depends on external factors, not internal ones.
This can be quite a tedious process. But when we achieve our goal in life on a material level, it turns out to be very difficult to be happy. This condition is unstable. It is good to live comfortably, but everything depends on the state of the soul.
2. What I Do
Throughout our lives, we take on different roles. And to each role we are differently connected – from the role of the child to the role of brother/sister, friend, employee, boss, lover, mother/father, manager, director – the list is endless.
And if you haven’t noticed yet …
At every stage of our life, we define our purpose based on the present moment, and it largely determines how satisfied we are at that moment in life.
Our purpose is to fulfill in the best possible way the role we are engaged in. However, the inability to fulfill it becomes a failure. These role-oriented goals in life change over time, in our life stages, and also affect the level of our happiness.
- The child feels happy when his mother praises him: “Well done, son. I’m so proud of you.“
- The student feels happy when he gets a high rating on his favorite topic.
- The employee feels happy when he realizes that he has done a great job for the company and his boss also has noticed this.
- The parent feels happy knowing that his family lives in good conditions.
- The sales manager feels happy when his team does a great job and achieve the assigned goal.
From these examples it is easy to see that happiness in all these roles is impossible at the same time.
The secret to finding joy and happiness through life goals is to combine into one „Who I Am” and “What I Do.“
3. Who I Am
This applies to our nature – personal habits, strengths and weaknesses, our values, our vision of the world and our beliefs.
When the goal in life is based on “Who I Am” and “What I Do” – and that is one whole, happiness comes from within naturally and does not depend on external factors. This leads to a sense of satisfaction.
A sense of emotional satisfaction accompanies our success in our favorite activity, if our job goes hand in hand with who we are.
Sometimes it’s hard to know who we are. There are several ways in which we can better understand our core values and innate talents.
Let us remember previous experience and life situations. When did we have to choose between two paths that would define our future life? This specific path which we want to take instinctively and it reflects our core values.
Look at the people you don’t like:
- Why don’t you like them?
- What exactly do you dislike about him or her?
- What do you dislike about their behavior?
- Is the problem in their work ethic?
- Or in their views on the world, their attitudes, their beliefs?
Look at the people you like and admire:
- Why do you like someone?
- What exactly do you like about him or her?
- Their way of working, attitude, worldview, beliefs?
- Their way of life?
- Or maybe their ambitions and aspirations, how they work or how they think?
- Or maybe the reason for your admiration are their achievements?
Look at yourself as a child back in the days:
- What did you enjoy playing as a kid?
- What hobbies did you have then?
- Were you good at painting or writing, playing a musical instrument, or playing sports?
- When you played a role as a child, which one did you enjoy the most?
Often, this helps us discover our innate talents. Let your imagination fly freely, without the restrictions of social norms.
- What do you like to do?
- Do you like strict organization?
- Or freedom?
- Do you like to follow the schedule or not?
- Do you like talking to strangers?
- Do you like to study something systematic and methodological, or conceptual and abstract?
- How would you describe your way of thinking?
Your instinct is your best friend. Trust your instincts.
If you are still struggling to find out who you are, ask people around you – friends, boss, colleagues, partner – let them describe how they see you.
Step by Step. Slowly get to know yourself. This is your mirror. There is nothing better than realizing that:
- You have improved over the past month or year
- You have started to have better control over yourself and your relationships
- You have managed to find your passion and turn it into a business from which you can make money and connect it with “who you are”.
It is this passion and purpose that guides us throughout our lives.